Welcome to my "Ask Me Anything" blog post series!
I answer lots of questions on my social media channels, and it makes sense to share this information (anonymously!) in case it is useful for others, too.
"I have a child who struggles with not wanting to go to school. In the morning, she will meltdown, and when she does go she will mask all day. Then, when she gets home and unmasks, she will meltdown, crying, shouting, kicking and throwing things.
Have you got any tips on how to help her regulate, or how to help her cope when she gets home?
The school isn't being very helpful as they see her masking and think that she is fine, and they don't see the aftermath when she gets home. By the weekend, she is often so drained that she can barely function."
The after-school crash is such a common sign of masking and overwhelm, It’s so hard when you’re carrying the weight of both ends.
A few things that might help at home:
1- Have a ‘nothing’ window after school.
Let her decompress before talking or anything else. A snack, a dark room, weighted blanket, calming toys and no demands.
2 - Use visuals for after school routines.
Even if it is just snack > chill time > dinner, this gives her predictability when she is running on empty. A countdown board or now/next visuals can reduce the pressure to cope.
3 - Offer a safe outlet for big feelings.
Punching pillows, ripping paper, whatever feels good to her. You’re giving her a safe way to release what has built up.
You might find my sensory profile tool helpful - it explains the sensory systems, helps you spot if she is over or under responding, and gives you ideas to support regulation at home.
I have apodcast episode which is relevant, all about after-school burnout. It is episode 38, and you can find it here on my YouTube channel, or search 'Sensory Classroom' wherever you listen to podcasts.
You’re doing everything right just by noticing and fighting her corner.
I hope that helps! If you have any other questions, let me know.
*I am not a doctor or medical professional, so for some questions, you might want to contact your GP, the National Autistic Society, or the NHS.
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