Why ‘Stimming’ Might Be Communication: Rethinking Behaviour Through Intensive Interaction
We’ve all heard it.
“He keeps flapping his hands.”
“She won’t stop spinning.”
“They just rock and hum all day.”
"They are lost in their own world."
Too often, these behaviours are labelled as “stimming” — and too often, the response is: “How do we stop it?”
But what if we’re asking the wrong question?
What if those repetitive actions aren’t something to fix…
…but something to listen to?
Welcome to the world of Intensive Interaction — where behaviour is seen as a bridge to connection.
“They’re Not Ignoring You — They’re Confirming Themselves”
At its core, Intensive Interaction is about building early communication with individuals who may not speak, may not seek out connection in typical ways, or who may appear “in their own world.”
But that inner world?
It’s rich. It’s real. And it’s filled with self-confirmation behaviours.
Many of the things we call stims — flapping, rocking, vocalising — are actually the person’s way of confirming their own existence. They're building a sense of self through sensory feedback.
Think of it like this:
- A baby sneezes → adult says “bless you” → baby feels noticed.
- A non-speaking child hums → no one responds → the humming continues, because no feedback came from the outside world. So they turn inward.
They flap, spin, hum, rock — not to tune us out, but to tune themselves in.
What Intensive Interaction Actually Is
It’s not therapy.
It’s not entertainment.
It’s not a behaviour management strategy.
Intensive Interaction is about meeting a learner exactly where they are, in their world, using their language.
Instead of asking them to engage with us on our terms, we:
- Observe their rhythms
- Mirror and creatively respond to their vocalisations or movements
- Share personal space safely
- Build connection through shared sequences and turn-taking
- Honour their autonomy and consent in every interaction
This is not about changing the child. It’s about offering emotional and sensory confirmation so that they begin to reach back.
Start by Asking: “What Are They Telling Me?”
Before jumping in with plans or interventions, take a moment. Watch them. Ask yourself:
- What kind of sensory feedback are they seeking?
- Are their actions rhythmic? Repetitive? Joyful?
- What “feel-good” loop are they creating?
- Can I offer a version of that — but with me included?
That’s the starting point. Not correcting behaviour, but building trust through interaction.
Try This: A Moment of Connection Today
Choose a quiet 5-minute window and:
- Sit in the comfortable proximity of your learner without an agenda.
- Watch their movements or sounds without judgment.
- Reflect one element back to them — maybe it’s a soft hum or hand movement.
-
Pause. Wait. See what happens.
-
Repeat. Slowly. Respectfully.
You don’t need to teach. You don't need to lead or make something happen.
Just notice them.
Want to Learn More?
👉 The Intensive Interaction Training Course includes:
- An accessible breakdown of the theory
- Examples of inner vs. outer world behaviour
- A printable session record sheet
- Tips for reflection, consent, and progress tracking
- Linked videos to see the process in action
It’s perfect for early years, SEND classrooms, or families of disabled, non-speaking and neurodivergent children looking to build deeper connection.
Let’s Shift the Lens
Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behaviour?”
Let’s ask, “How can I join them there?”
Because connection doesn’t start with words.
It starts with presence.
Nind, M., & Hewett, D. (2001). A Practical Guide to Intensive Interaction. David Fulton Publishers.
Foundational text outlining the principles, practice, and observed benefits of Intensive Interaction, grounded in early communication development.
Nind, M., & Hewett, D. (2005). Access to Communication: Developing the Basics of Communication with People with Severe Learning Difficulties through Intensive Interaction (2nd ed.). David Fulton Publishers.
Seminal work linking Intensive Interaction to pre-verbal communication, shared attention, and relationship building.
Hewett, D. (2012). Intensive Interaction: Theoretical Perspectives. SAGE Publications.
Explores the theoretical underpinnings of Intensive Interaction, including links to early infant–caregiver interaction, attachment theory, and developmental psychology.
Nind, M. (2014). What Is Intensive Interaction? British Institute of Learning Disabilities (BILD).
Concise overview of the approach, its principles, and reported outcomes, often cited in UK SEND practice.
Caldwell, P. (2014). Using Intensive Interaction with Pupils on the Autism Spectrum: A Practical Guide for Teachers. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Applies Intensive Interaction principles specifically to autistic learners, with practical classroom examples and reflective practice.
Kellett, M. (2005). How Taught Should We Be? The Development of Shared Attention and Communication in People with Severe and Profound Learning Difficulties through Intensive Interaction. British Journal of Learning Disabilities, 33(2), 80–86.
Peer-reviewed study exploring changes in attention, engagement, and interaction.
Kellett, M., & Nind, M. (2003). Implementing Intensive Interaction in Schools: Guidance for Practitioners. British Journal of Special Education.
Discusses implementation, staff confidence, and observed benefits in educational settings.
Firth, G., Elford, H., Leeming, C., & Crabbe, M. (2008). Intensive Interaction as a Novel Approach in Psychiatric Services. British Journal of Learning Disabilities.
Examines the impact of Intensive Interaction on wellbeing, distress reduction, and relationships in adult services.
Argyropoulou, V., & Papoudi, D. (2012). The Training of Teachers in Intensive Interaction and Its Effect on Their Perceptions of Children with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities.
Research highlighting changes in staff understanding, attunement, and expectations.
Samuel, J., Nind, M., Volans, A., & Scriven, I. (2008). An Evaluation of Intensive Interaction in Community Living Settings. Journal of Intellectual Disabilities.
Evaluation of Intensive Interaction outside educational settings, focusing on quality of life and social engagement.
Trevarthen, C., & Aitken, K. J. (2001). Infant Intersubjectivity: Research, Theory, and Clinical Applications. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.
Not an Intensive Interaction study, but frequently cited as theoretical support for its emphasis on attunement, rhythm, and shared meaning.
Bruner, J. (1983). Child’s Talk: Learning to Use Language. Oxford University Press.
Classic developmental text underpinning the social foundations of communication that Intensive Interaction draws upon.
BILD (British Institute of Learning Disabilities). (2016). Intensive Interaction: Evidence and Practice.
Professional body guidance summarising evidence, practice examples, and ethical considerations.
